It is a fact of life that everybody, even the most beautiful and elegant people, go to the bathroom. Calling a plumber is one of those inevitable evils of life, right up there along with death and taxes. The least you can do is find some humor in the situation. Here are the top 10 jokes about plumbing.
1. A prestigious neurosurgeon calls a plumber to tend to his leaky faucet. The problem requires an easy fix and the entire job takes less than two minutes. Before leaving, the plumber says, “That will be $200.”
The surgeon replies, “I am a surgeon and even I do not charge $100 a minute.”
The plumber says, “Yeah, I didn’t either when I was a surgeon. Why do you think I switched?”
2. I would put a good chunk of money down to bet that you will never find a plumber who bites their nails.
3. A doctor calls his local plumber late at night to fix a clogged sink. The plumber complains that he has regular hours but the doctor explains, “I get called into work late all the time so you can too.” The plumber gives in and arrives a half hour later.
Upon arriving, the plumber looks at the sink but is clearly uninterested in it. He hands the doctor two aspirin and says “I have a golf match to get to. Take two and call me in the morning.”
4. Perhaps Alfred Hitchcock said it best when he claimed, “Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn’t change people’s habits. It just kept them inside the house.”
5. Wood Allen once quipped, “Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.”
6. Perhaps George Meany was right when he said, “Anybody who has any doubt about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one.”
7. Somebody broke into the police station and stole the only toilet in the joint. Right now the cops are anxious to find the perp but in the mean time they have nothing to go on.
8. A man at a bus station shows off pictures of his three sons to an acquaintance. “What do your boys do for a living?” asked the man.
“Well the two youngest ones are both neurosurgeons,” he replied.
“What does the oldest do?”
“He’s a plumber. How else would the other two have been able to afford medical school?”
9. It is not only at the poker table that a flush beats a full house.
10. Joyce Hart once said that a plumber is the only profession where you get to take a leak and fix it at the same time.