Dear Potential Customer,
You don’t know me but you’ll love doing business with me, because I’m always the low bidder. No matter what price anyone else quotes you, I guarantee I can do the work cheaper.
What’s my secret? Simple. I keep overhead down. Other companies inflate their costs by paying high wages for top-notch workers. They’re too stuck up to hire the people so desperate for work that they will take any job offered them. Not me. Just like you look for the low bidder, I search for help that will work for as little as possible. And then I’m a merciless boss. Think of me as a throwback to the good old days when workers were expected to put in a week’s work for a day’s pay. If they don’t like it, they can go back to ripping out asbestos or whatever it was they used to do before I came along.
Nor do I pamper my workers with costly benefits like health insurance, paid holidays and so forth. Most of my help doesn’t stick around long enough to collect on any benefits anyway. The money I save goes into your pocket when you hire me because I’m the low bidder.
Another reason I’m the low bidder is because I don’t overpay for high-grade equipment when I know I can get stuff a lot cheaper that will work okay for a pretty long time. Do you realize that a lot of tools and equipment they use might actually outlive the plumbing contractor? What’s the point in that? When you really think about it, your best value comes from stuff that will collapse shortly after the owner does.
The same holds true for office machines, vehicles and all the other expensive things it takes to be in business nowadays. Fortunately for you, I save money by not splurging on the best. Also, I don’t buy anything until it’s absolutely necessary. Everything in my gar… uh, shop, dates back to the ’70s and ’80s when things didn’t cost nearly as much as they do now. I believe in using things until they fall apart. My trucks have the baldest tires in town. I make do with dull bits and rusty wrenches. Maybe this means my people have to use a little more elbow grease, but that’s their problem. It saves you money.
Another big cost saving is insurance. You wouldn’t believe what they charge for premiums nowadays. Yet on the vast majority of jobs, it’s a complete waste of money. So I don’t bother with it. It’s a lot cheaper to just keep telling my workers to be careful.
Another big waste of money is all those licenses, permits and other regulations the government is always telling me to comply with. Aren’t you sick and tired of big government? Just hire me, and I’ll show you how to dodge all that red tape.
I’ll let you in on my secret. Because I’m such a sharp businessman, I simply refuse to be underbid. Show me anyone’s job quotation, and I’ll figure out a way to do it for less. I can always shave expenses a little more by cutting corners on labor or materials and employing other tricks of the trade, even if it means short shrifting someone else’s job.
Another thing is, most contractors are greedy. They try to make money on every stinkin’ job. I know I can’t do that and still be the low bidder, so I don’t even try. Fact of the matter is, I lose money on most of my jobs. I believe in making it up in volume.
Some of my competitors are so greedy they expect people like you to pay enough to let them live in a nice house, drive a new car and put their kids through college. They don’t understand that this is trade work, and we’re not entitled to make as much money as lawyers and bean counters and all those other office folks who wear ties to work. I know my place. That’s why I’m the low bidder.
You might hear some of my competitors badmouth me because of the way I do business. They’re just jealous because I get so much work. Being the low bidder, I always have more work than I can handle. But rest assured that no matter how busy I might be, I would never turn down your job. I need that volume.
So quit messing around with all those companies that charge more than you want to pay. Just give me a call, and you can be certain that you’re doing business with the low bidder.
I guarantee you’ll get your money’s worth.
Some of you may recognize the author Mr. Jim Olsztynski. He is one of the most prolific columnists in the plumbing industry and we at theplumbinginfo.com thank him for this contribution. Happy retirement Jim…….