Wives, girlfriends, and mothers complain about it but men continue to do it. When did this ritual begin and when does it become appealing? Regardless, man love to find a good book (or a newspaper when there was something worth reading) and hang out on the toilet for awhile. I’ve pondered this more times than I would like to admit. Men spend exponentially more time on the toilet than there female counterparts. Why? I think it’s to get away from the world. It is almost blasphemy to bother someone while on the throne so men go to the bathroom so they won’t be bothered. It’s an almost perfect hideaway. Apparently, along with eating too much red meat, eating too much meat, smoking cigars, watching too much TV, drinking too much coffee, drinking too much scotch (or vodka) sitting too long on the toilet is bad for you. What a world. Sometimes I wonder what is more dangerous, sitting on the toilet too long or not unplugging from the world for 30 minutes in the john. Some funny female has asked if a man could read an entire set of encyclopedias in his lifetime whilst sitting on the pot, I say probably. We start young.

According to Dr. David Gutman, founder and lead physician of Advanced Hemorrhoid Specialists, “Hemorrhoids are derived from anatomical structures called anal cushions — like small balloons — embedded within the wall of the anal canal. When abdominal pressure is increased, these cushions instantly fill with blood to form a hydraulic seal to help prevent leakage.

“If the anal cushions become stretched out or get irritated, they are called hemorrhoids and can cause bleeding, itching, pain, and the protrusion of tissue through the rectum.”

reading on the toilet

The doctor suggests that if you want to read on the toilet you finish, wipe and then sit on the lid. Um, no thanks, that takes the fun and freedom out of the act. Armed with this new found knowledge will us men be any less inclined to shorten our bathroom visits? I think not.

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